Hands on

Working on my small exhib. for next week, and I bloody hate it ! first discussed with C., I was excited, and very quickly after I imagined an image how I would like it to look. I feel now that my heart is not in it. I must persevere. I know from previous experiences, especially with drawings, one reaches a dead point, and , in stead of starting all over again, it is better and more satisfying to continue. The idea is a sequence of twelve red squares

 titiled 'DUODECAD', meaning ten plus two. I started with creating a series of little white cameos, adding one ,ore to each piece., so I ended up with twelve. There are some ideas floating around; Like touch in human life and living. From being continiously touched when you are a baby and a child, (and is it not sad that one can't write this without thinking about inappropiate behaviour!) and explore the world around you through touch, to not being able to touch at all, and very often not being touched.Thinking about the harsh environments of big school institutions, or old peoples homes, but also being the full exoerience of Aestetic touch denied.
I started with one , very quiet,little stitch, and let the number and thickness grow according to the number, so like a musical composition, it starts to get louder and louder, until there is a Halleluja from Handel feeling with the last piece, wich has to be the first piece, if one starts chronologically. Well, perhaps not quite the Handel Chorus, but that is the general idea. It has to fizzle out, ofcourse.While working on it, I decided that I will also add machine stitch with the same principle in mind, to add more interest, and I love building up with stitches. Then I immedeately start to wonder; Will my idea still be clear, if I machine stitch on top of the handstitch ?
I have also used textiledye to intensify the colours, starting with no colour, , then a faint peach colour, a brighter pink, to end up on the twelfth piece with bright red. All the hand stitching is in red, I will talk about the significance of that later, afraid that I will side track too much.
The thickness of the thread , the number of stitches, the itensity of colours, also the number of times I stitched around the cameos, and the size of the stitches, are all carefully thought out and excecuted,although I feel very much this is a piece which will lead to further work, and therefore merely samplers
I like to experiment with bleach on the red, the same metaphor of touch fading away in a visual manner.
I also like to add that I have a strong connectiong with appropriating old materials, because that adds to the narrative and the quality and history of touch .They make my enquiry in Aestetic touch a much more interesting experience.